Should I let the fantasy remain a “Fantasy”?

Living in an extended family, I see my brothers and sisters with their husbands and wives, how they find time for each other, share dreams together, care for each other, their love for each other, making plans for the future, their children and ones to come. The idea of a happily married life has always been a fantasy. Yes, I was married once, but it wasn’t at all how I expected it to be. I thank God everyday for giving me the strength to walk out of it… while still alive.

Playing single working mom for two wonderful boys is nothing close to a dream life… but it definitely is a happy one. My boys have a way of making me feel like the best mom in the world… A Super Mom!!! Indeed, the three of us make one very happy family; there just seem no place for another.

One thing is for certain, I just love being the boss of my life where I get to have my way with everything *smile* and it will move a mountain to make me want to share this life with anyone. So the question is, should I give up this fabulously carefree life for the hope of a fantasy come true or do I let the fantasy; to live a happily married life, remain a fantasy???

I’ll miss you every step on the way…!!!

Restraining me from deep emotions is an art I had developed with experience and pride. With you, putting my guards down was easy, for I was certain I could never fall for you and with several reasons too and there’s several more why you could never fall for me. But I guess nature has its own way of turning the tables and flipping the cards with all the wrong signals for us to play the victim idol. Alas… I have fallen, knowing all too well that it’s just me and my feelings alone; you have no part in it. I’m sorry for spoiling our friendship, I had no intension. So it’s best, my friend, that I walked away before my emotions grew any stronger. I know… I’ll miss you every step on the way…!!! Take care!!

Am I ready to give up my singleton?

I have always enjoyed hanging out with friends… teasing and cracking jokes over coffee tables all through the nights is the best part of being single. Then why this uneasiness tonight… sort of a guilty feeling. Why this urge… like I want to call someone and say, “honey, I’m out with some friends… call you when I get home… love ya!!” Am I missing something? I know for sure I’m not in love. The feel has been bothering me a couple of days now. Whenever I’m happy, sad or down… I get this feeling, to share it with someone… someone to bond with. Am I missing a relationship? Do I really want to start over? I’m I ready to give up my singleton? So many questions, only I can answer. I need to consult my inner self…soon… before this feeling eats on me!!

Back in routine… and loving it!!!

It’s good to be back in routine after a long vacation. Holidays are finally over and I’m back with the love of my life… my WORK. Got a lot to catch up on, which means I’ll be working my a** off all this week. aahhh... I’ve missed it sooo much!!!