And so I let go…

Many days passed… they say time heals all wounds and so it has mines’ too.  I've spent these holidays looking back over the past year, realizing, understanding… my friends, my family and most of all… my mistakes.  Life goes on, and mistakes are vital ingredient in making a person wiser and experienced, but only if you learn from them… Have I learned from my mistakes? How confident am I that I won’t make the same mistakes again?

Last year I had been holding on to a personality that I had experienced in the previous year, hoping to find him again.  For almost a year I had loved him, desired him and rejected all other options that have come my way, only to realize that the personality wasn't for real... (sigh), the extent some men would go to get what they want.  Result: A lot of wasted time and opportunities (for me)…

Question is, have I learned from this mistake? Will I let myself be fooled by such a personality again? One thing I learned for sure is that in the logic of love, one should listen to ones mind and not their heart...the heart will always comes up with some excuse to hold on while the mind gives several reasons to let go. This year, I choose to listen to my mind, and so... I let go…!!!

I love you enough to leave you for the person you love…!!!

You and I are both aware of the vibrant flow of energy around us every time our paths cross. Alone or in a crowded room, our chemistry is inevitable. But you choose to ignore it all. Your presence is hardcore within me and yet I’m forced to control my emotions and the urge to reach out to you. I can’t seem to get pass this phase to let go even after so long. I’ve always prided myself to be emotionally stronger than most women but this time… I feel so lost.


Your possessiveness had become an attraction and your needful desires had pulled me to you like a magnet. Every time I saw you I ached to be touched. Every moment with you was bliss. I’ve come to terms that I’d fallen in love with you and if leaving you is what makes you happy… I’ll leave with a smile.

B’cos I love you enough to leave you for the person you love…!!!

If temptations could kill...!!!

I know I haven’t been to my blog a long time. Not that nothing’s happened since my last post, but just haven’t had the time to sit with it or rather, haven’t had the urge to share J

Today something weird happened, and I’m still baffled about it. Have you ever felt so sexy and hot for a guy that you feel like you want to tear his shirt off and have a go at it on the spot? I was watching these guys play ball and I noticed this guy and actually felt my adrenaline rise. It was like every inch of me wanted to go wild on him. Uuuggh… even the very thought makes me go nuts.  How I fought those temptations were beyond me, but somehow I managed to control myself.  If temptations could kill… I’ll be dead now J Too bad the guy is  unaware of this hehe…!!!

I wont give it up for the world...!!!

Someone once told me that, no man in his rightful mind would want to commit to a mother of two kids... After nine years I realize how true those words are...

I'm a mother of two wonderful boys and that is a fact that is never going to change. Being a mother is what has made me the woman I am today and I am proud of the person I have become; responsible, energetic, caring, loving and more mature, and if men don't realize the beauty in it... I'd say, "to hell with them".

Being a single mom is tough, but I wont give it up for the world...!!!

No dirty socks to wash...!!!

Feeling very low and emotionally stressed. 48 hours and my phone hasn’t rung even once… makes you realize just how alone you are. Can’t help to wonder how my life is destined to be. Am I to grow old alone? Even the very thought gives me the shivers. I don’t want to be alone. There was a time when I was happy with my singleton and independence… but I never expected it to go on for so long. I’ve always wanted to share my life with someone special, to be with someone I can share my thoughts and feelings, to care for and be loved in return. I want to wake up in the mornings beside him, share breakfast … sneak in to his office in the afternoons just to steal a kiss… walk hand in hand in the evenings… and make love every night. Am I never to live such moments? Oh well... It has its advantages too... I don't have to wash his dirty socks... (grin)...!!!

I believe in yesterday…!!!

Hate… is an emotion I’ve learnt to reason with… or so I thought.

A couple of missed calls and threatening messages have brought all the anger and distress that I had buried away for so long to surface with no control or reasoning. Ten years of hatred is about to explode and the cause of it all is flashing in on me like a horror movie played in slow motion. Will I have the strength to control myself and reason with the present? Will I be able to forgive and forget? How do you forgive someone who doesn’t ask for forgiveness, instead threatens to cause you trouble? Should I still try to reason, or fight back? Either ways, I risk my babies to be dragged into circumstances I had worked so hard to avoid.

What comes to mind is part of the song “Yesterday” by Beatles

Yesterday,

All my troubles seemed so far away,

Now it looks as though they're here to stay,

Oh, I believe in yesterday.

My words from quotes of an Icon...!!!