Valentine…!!!

A dozen roses, chocolates and cakes with candles and heart-shaped balloons… everywhere you go you feel that love is in the air. A day to revive the bond with the one you love… a time to show your affection and appreciation for that most precious person in your life…

I like to spend Valentine with the one companion I feel most comfortable with…”ME”. It’s principle not to share Valentine with anyone you don’t feel the “true sparks” with!!! No offence dear but you and I both know our sparks are limited ;)…!!!

Should I let the fantasy remain a “Fantasy”?

Living in an extended family, I see my brothers and sisters with their husbands and wives, how they find time for each other, share dreams together, care for each other, their love for each other, making plans for the future, their children and ones to come. The idea of a happily married life has always been a fantasy. Yes, I was married once, but it wasn’t at all how I expected it to be. I thank God everyday for giving me the strength to walk out of it… while still alive.

Playing single working mom for two wonderful boys is nothing close to a dream life… but it definitely is a happy one. My boys have a way of making me feel like the best mom in the world… A Super Mom!!! Indeed, the three of us make one very happy family; there just seem no place for another.

One thing is for certain, I just love being the boss of my life where I get to have my way with everything *smile* and it will move a mountain to make me want to share this life with anyone. So the question is, should I give up this fabulously carefree life for the hope of a fantasy come true or do I let the fantasy; to live a happily married life, remain a fantasy???

I’ll miss you every step on the way…!!!

Restraining me from deep emotions is an art I had developed with experience and pride. With you, putting my guards down was easy, for I was certain I could never fall for you and with several reasons too and there’s several more why you could never fall for me. But I guess nature has its own way of turning the tables and flipping the cards with all the wrong signals for us to play the victim idol. Alas… I have fallen, knowing all too well that it’s just me and my feelings alone; you have no part in it. I’m sorry for spoiling our friendship, I had no intension. So it’s best, my friend, that I walked away before my emotions grew any stronger. I know… I’ll miss you every step on the way…!!! Take care!!

Am I ready to give up my singleton?

I have always enjoyed hanging out with friends… teasing and cracking jokes over coffee tables all through the nights is the best part of being single. Then why this uneasiness tonight… sort of a guilty feeling. Why this urge… like I want to call someone and say, “honey, I’m out with some friends… call you when I get home… love ya!!” Am I missing something? I know for sure I’m not in love. The feel has been bothering me a couple of days now. Whenever I’m happy, sad or down… I get this feeling, to share it with someone… someone to bond with. Am I missing a relationship? Do I really want to start over? I’m I ready to give up my singleton? So many questions, only I can answer. I need to consult my inner self…soon… before this feeling eats on me!!

Back in routine… and loving it!!!

It’s good to be back in routine after a long vacation. Holidays are finally over and I’m back with the love of my life… my WORK. Got a lot to catch up on, which means I’ll be working my a** off all this week. aahhh... I’ve missed it sooo much!!!

Let me enjoy my singleton!!

To be alone was my choice… So why does everyone want me to find a companion? How many times do I have to tell you people, “I am not lonely… and I do DATE!!!”? I don’t see any reason why I should make my dating public. I don’t bring my Dates home b’cos I can’t have my parents dreaming wedding bells on false alarm or be showered with questions from all four corners… (Please!!! Spare me!!)

So why am I still single?
Obviously because I haven’t met anyone worthy of boyfriend material!!

Am I the only single mom in the world? If I am to find a companion, why should I settle for anything less, when I know I deserve the best? I like to believe that my Prince Charming is out there somewhere, and he will find me someday! Until then… let me enjoy my singleton!!

Time to start investing on myself

My mind seems to be blank, feeling drowsy and heavy headed… but that is just a mere description of how I exactly feel. These are the times when I’m reminded of Spongebob Squarepants; how he orders his brain cell workers to go through all his knowledge drawers and schedule lists in order to carryout the tasks. I wish I could do the same. But I know my brain cells are over worked cos they haven’t rested for three nights in a row. Every bone, every tissue in my body seems so stiff and immobile. What am I doing? Why am I keeping myself so busy? Why can’t I be like everyone else; relax, sleep, enjoy the holidays… instead of chasing after work and pressure! If this is to continue I might drop down dead at my pc one day and no one would notice. The more I think abut it the more it freaks me out… I think it’s time I changed my altitude and start investing on myself; an appointment with a masseuse sounds like a great idea… what do you think?