Déjà vu... Even without you!

Even without you…

Walking along the sidewalk, I see us holding hands

Shopping in the malls, I see us sharing likes and dislikes

Dining out, I feel your stare across the table

Partying with friends, I see us laughing and teasing

On the balcony, I see us sharing endless stories amusing each other

Working at my desk, I see you drawing tattoos on my arm

When tired, I feel you kiss my forehead, making me relax

In the shower, I feel your arms embrace me;

Your fingers exploring every inch of me

On the beach, I see us making love, under the stars

Walking in to my room I see a cold empty bed, yet I feel so content

For this déjà vu makes me feel sublime…

Even without you!

Leave me alone!!!

My life has been sabotaged by nonstop criticism of my relationship with myself. When my parents do it… I can understand. Family… I can handle, friends… I can get away with a chuckle. But what am I to do when all of ‘em come on to me at the same time?

It was my sons’ birthday party and all the family and friends were gathered. We were having a great time when all of a sudden the topic targeted towards me and my life as a single parent *hide face*. Now is that even a topic to discuss in public? I don’t think so!!!

What is so wrong with being single? I have had my share of courtship and affairs. Now, I’d rather spare my time and energy RAISING my men rather than be out FISHING for men. True, I do get lonely at times, I have my urges, my desires… but those are just feelings and they come and go, on and off, just like that… no big deal! There is no emotion that I can’t handle. I’m a big girl and I’m happy as I am. And if I wanted to get entangled again, I will… but for now, just leave me alone!!!

I will always be there…

I don’t hate you, I don’t blame you…
I know you too well, to be angry with you
I know you too well, to be upset by your words
Just because you go on your own way and act less emotional
Does not mean you do not care
I know you do…

I’ve heard your sobs, I’ve heard your cheers
I have seen the child in you, the real you…
The one you hide, from rest of the world
Though our time had been short, I understood you, inside out
Indeed I do...

I know your dreams, and they are big… too big; to tag along anyone (you think)
But I believe in your dreams, I believe in you…
Cos with your skills and inspirations, no dreams can be too big
And though I may not be there to share your masterpiece
My heart will always be there…
In your quest to make your dreams a reality
Take care!!

I enjoy my work… and every minute of it!!!

Today, I’m feeling content and at ease. The fruits of committed hard work and sleepless nights have finally paid off. Now I can relax and enjoy the pleasure of this awesome success. I am going to take my time in enjoying this moment of self attainment, before I start off with my next project. Yes! Another project awaits… and I am already excited about it. This time too, I’m going to give it my best… cos when it comes to work… I like to enjoy every minute of it… before, when and after..!!!

Why do guys back off just when you think things are getting serious?

Well, I may not be the relationship expert, but I do have a lot of friends; male and female, who like to share their inside stories on relationships with me, and I happen to learn a lot from them.

Now, this is a question a lot of my female friends ask me. So let me tell you something that I have come to learn from a lot of my male friends. The thing about guys is that... As much as most of them really DO want a relationship with a special woman, when the opportunity actually arises to create that relationship, THEY FREAK OUT and starts to back off.

So, in such a case, I recommend that you give him the time and space he needs to figure out his own feelings while use this time yourself to figure out what you truly want and need. But the truth that we need to understand is that we can't make someone decide that they can't live without us... We can only be ourselves and hope that the guy in our life is worthy and smart enough to realize that we're totally irresistible. ;)

And if he DOESN'T come to that conclusion on his own... Well, then, why waste another second of our precious time on a doofus who can't recognize how fabulous we are anyway?!? :D

Emotions

Too often we underestimate the motive of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring; to emotional bounds for commitment. True, all of these have the potentials to make one think in to fall… Me? I had no such intension!! You and I have come a long way… and I don’t deny that you are dear to me. But when it comes to Emotions… you have a long ride before you can touch me there…!!

In the darkness of my loneliness

Sitting here; in the lonely darkness of my room, thinking of you. I wonder if you are thinking of me too. Every now and then my thoughts keep drifting away to how it all started; from e-mail messages to chat rooms, from phone conversations to cozy couches. Time passed fast and we came close even faster. Yet after several months, the uncertainty of our relationship lingers in the air. Every time we meet, I can’t help to wonder how you feel about me, if I am of any importance to you at all. I try to tell myself that we are “just friends”, cos I know that’s how you want it to be. But then again, I never got this close to any of my friends. To me, you will always be more than a friend because what I feel for you is a lot different from what I feel for them.
But I know this feeling isn’t mutual on your part. I do understand why. I have no expectations from you and I know this isn’t to last. Sooner or later you’ll find someone else, fall in love … and walk away, and I’ll be left behind, alone in the darkness of my loneliness…AGAIN.
It’s like the curse is never to end. Am I never to find true love? Isn’t anyone out there for me, to make me feel special and precious?